It's happened once before...

Just a scenario:

Lets say you're dating this girl and her ex tries to get back with her suddenly after you've been with her at least a month. Now you're not sure which ex it is because you didn't ask, but you do know one of her exes is really good friends with an ex of yours who you saw at the movie theater a few weeks back. You go ahead and act like it doesn't bother you, because in reality you don't want her to know that truly it is (so there goes the whole "asking" who part). Does one make a guess that would probably be right because you know how manipulative your ex is, or do you just leave it alone and hope she doesn't fall in the obviously set trap. That is if it is who you think it is.

Tricky right?


Anyway, with that being said, last night was perfect and I wouldn't of traded it for anything.

Hiatus

It's a new song I wrote. I don't have it recorded or anything yet, but I figured I'd put the lyrics up on here since like 5 people total will end up reading it and I don't think anyone will do anything with them, I mean I'm not really a good songwriter lol. Anyway here it is. I'm pretty sure I misspelled deceiving too.

Anyway the story behind the song is this: I have an ex girlfriend who is a complete cunt. She broke up with me but whenever I would try to go with somebody else she would do all these different things to either guilt me into not going after it, or she'd stir something up and make drama out of things, because she knew it was the one thing I absolutely hated. Why I dated that drama queen I don't know. Anyway I've been with my new girlfriend, Tomie, for about a little over a month now. And I've been waiting for my ex to come back around and stir something up because that's what she does. So really the song is saying that for once I found someone that I truly do care about, and I'm not going to let the bitch split us up. But she hasn't came around. There's more to it, I would usually leave stuff like that alone except, A) she saw us together and though she didnt do anything she just keep glaring at me, and that's never a good sign and B) My ex, and my current gf's ex are really good friends. And to be blunt, I feel something is about to go down drama wise and this time, I'm not backing down.

Now that you know the story behind it here are the lyrics:


"Hiatus" - Wil Petty


Everything is crossing my mind so fast
All of my strengths and all the things I lack
Here lately I'm just dividing fiction from fact
Defending myself just waiting for an attack
But you're gone
lone gone
You can't stay away for that long

Cause whenever something good comes to me
You always come around to defeat me
Change everything to be deceiving
But this time around, you're not breaking me down
You won't be bringing me down

Our hiatis needs to be permanent
I try to finish everything but for once I quit
Truth be told I have had enough of this
I keep on waiting for all of your bullshit
But you're gone
Lone gone
You can't stay away for that
Cause you're gone
Lone gone
You can't stay away for that long

Cause whenever something good comes to me
You always come around to defeat me
Change everything to be deceiving
But this time around, you're not breaking me down
You won't be bringing me down

You're always in my head
Made me wish I was dead
With the words that you've said
And the blood that was shed
But for once I am strong
Just enough to move on...
...You don't deserve me

*solo*

Yea you're Gone
Lone gone
You can't stay away for that long

Cause whenever something good comes to me
You always come around to defeat me
Change everything to be deceiving
But this time around, you're not breaking me down

Just some thoughts.

1. Dropping acid is a religious expierence, to me it almost seems like a simulation of the overview of life. You are thrown in the middle of good and evil (good trip/bad trip), and what happens over the next several hours all depends on your actions and thoughts. I haven't done it in like over a year so I don't know why I'm suddenly making this epiphany, but really one can not understand what I'm grasping here without having had that expierence themselves. Now I'm not saying you are close to god as your brain drops blood on your spine, but what I am saying is that there are really so many similarities. The only difference is the effects of it are all in your head, as for life and the constant fight between good and evil, look outside or turn on the television.

2. I want to go to Jerusalem. I honestly don't know why, I've been thinking about it for awhile though. Its not because I'm religious, I am a Christian but as you can tell by statement #1 I'm not exactly the next Jesus or anything like that. I don't know, I just feel some kind of need to go there, I dreamt of being there last night. I need to go to the mountain, and the wall, and the dome.

3. A lot of my beliefs have been called into question by myself lately. I've done a lot of religious and philosophical research this week, trying to find some answers I know that no one on Earth has, and like me won't know until it's over. I'm almost certain though that the "Antichrist" is a concept, not going to be in human form, which wasn't common Christian doctorine until so many accusations arose amongst the earliest more primitive Christians calling others that name as an excuse to fight them. Nostradamous seems to be closer to right. I don't know whether to just not believe it, or maybe just be agnostic about that overall minor detail. Oh and, the world wasn't created in 6 days, that idea did not even come around until after the Civil War. In biblical times, days meant milleniums. And the reason the idea of it being 6 "literal" days came around was a backlash against darwinism and evolution.

I still have faith. But now the world is to the point where extremists control everything. Most think of Christians being Pat Robertson and not the rastafarian or the guy who doesn't let the extremists tell him how to vote. Many think of muslims as terrorists, and not the homeless in Iraq or the Islamic community around here, who believe it or not weren't happy about 9/11. Many think of atheists and think of the people trying to stop displays of biblical texts or people just being pessemistic trying to prove everyone wrong and not the guy who doesn't give a shit what people think, and leaves them alone as he chooses not to share the same faith despite Christians and others coming to his door every weekend inviting him or her to a church in hopes of having them saved. Which brings me to my next thought.

4. Not everyone wants to be saved. And in the end it is nobody's fault. There will always be atheists, buddhists, christians, hindis, jews, muslums, pagans, etc. And as a note to fellow Christians, maybe I'm the only one who thinks this and I may very well be wrong, maybe if you really wanted people to convert, and find Christ... well then maybe some should back off. What was that saying... "If you want something, let it come to you" something to that effect. Maybe more should try that and maybe just maybe it can overshadow the people who have so often turned others away by preaching about being damned in hell, saying if you don't take the bible literally you're unchristian, oh and of course the whole concept of "If you're not a republican, you're not a Christian" needs to just die.

Long point made short: If christians can accept that not everyone will believe the same, if instead of trying to make a political statement to the world the churches would try to focus on self-redemption, if instead of preaching about the evils and the "fire and brimstone" people heard a more peaceful message that actually represents what almost all christians believe, and instead of being so corrupt on tithing for a new steeple or a road that leads to a back entrance, the money went to better use like helping the poverished, saving the enviroment, fighting AIDS, you know stuff that God really wants to see done to the world, the bad image nonbelievers have about christians would change.

But if most are so commited on fighting crusades against abortion clinics and homosexuals and any logical thought of evolution or global warming is heresy, and continue feeling elitist and afraid the world is going to end any minute, then fine have at it. I'm not going to stop anyone, or judge them for it. I just very strongly disagree.

Going to Richmond

I'm leaving Loganville Monday morning to go to Richmond, VA for a week. Should be cool. Got enough green to last me the weekend. This all has the beginnings to an extremely fun summer I must say :)

alcohol

So I get drunk every once in awhile. I'm 19 and in college, does everyone really expect me not to occasionally drink several beers in one night? So my dad found my 12 pack of longneck Miller High Lifes, and got pissed. Personally I don't see the problem besides the fact I'm 19 but come on drinking at 19 is like going to a R rated movie at 15 or 16, it's not really a big deal. Actually you would think they'd be relieved or even proud that I:

1) didn't drive drunk
2) wasn't loud and obnoxious
3) that it's not an all the time thing, just more for special occasions
4) it was alcohol and not anything else I could truly get in trouble for.
5) I bought it with my own money, it's not like I lied to him asking for money for something else and then buying beer instead. No I asked him for $3o to buy gas and go to the movies. Which I did, then I took money out of my account to buy a 12-pack.

I mean if one can't get high or drunk then what can they do? ya know? Well, he didn't really go off on me about it so I don't think it's going to be a big deal, so. Still though, whats the big deal? I should be the one pissed because he took the rest of my beer. Oh well, better him finding it then mom, at least I can probably talk to him about it and have a chance at him understanding and just letting it go. But idk, maybe mom would be more reasonable on this one, it doesn't matter though, I think I can handle this one on my own.

The sad truth

Music today just isn't the same as it once was. Once upon the time it wasn't about the money... it was about spirituality, putting poetry to the sweetest of riffs, most importantly it was actually about the music. Traveling to New York, San Francisco, London, Woodstock, just to play and have others appreciate your musician ship. We saw what happen during the Classical era happen again on a global scale. Instead of just going through London, Paris, Vienna, Venice, Rome, and Prague you go to New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta, London, Tokyo, Rio De Janeiro, and it was great. I would give anything if I personally could revive that notion. Maybe it's just me listening to a little bit of Hendrix right now, but I think I have that capability. Music needs to go back to being art, not this whole cycle of we sign you to write generic top 40 hits and you get 1% of the profits. We just need to come together and fix the music industry. We need an indie revolution on the airwaves. That is the only way we can fight this war, unless someone within an industry gets fed up and goes indie. I feel so good right now, I had to get that off my chest. Bring back what made the 60s and 70s so great. The Led Zeppelins, The Jimi Hendrixes, the Doors-types, The Steve Millers and Janis Joplins. And lets give them freedom to do whatever they want and still get recognized.