Just some thoughts.

1. Dropping acid is a religious expierence, to me it almost seems like a simulation of the overview of life. You are thrown in the middle of good and evil (good trip/bad trip), and what happens over the next several hours all depends on your actions and thoughts. I haven't done it in like over a year so I don't know why I'm suddenly making this epiphany, but really one can not understand what I'm grasping here without having had that expierence themselves. Now I'm not saying you are close to god as your brain drops blood on your spine, but what I am saying is that there are really so many similarities. The only difference is the effects of it are all in your head, as for life and the constant fight between good and evil, look outside or turn on the television.

2. I want to go to Jerusalem. I honestly don't know why, I've been thinking about it for awhile though. Its not because I'm religious, I am a Christian but as you can tell by statement #1 I'm not exactly the next Jesus or anything like that. I don't know, I just feel some kind of need to go there, I dreamt of being there last night. I need to go to the mountain, and the wall, and the dome.

3. A lot of my beliefs have been called into question by myself lately. I've done a lot of religious and philosophical research this week, trying to find some answers I know that no one on Earth has, and like me won't know until it's over. I'm almost certain though that the "Antichrist" is a concept, not going to be in human form, which wasn't common Christian doctorine until so many accusations arose amongst the earliest more primitive Christians calling others that name as an excuse to fight them. Nostradamous seems to be closer to right. I don't know whether to just not believe it, or maybe just be agnostic about that overall minor detail. Oh and, the world wasn't created in 6 days, that idea did not even come around until after the Civil War. In biblical times, days meant milleniums. And the reason the idea of it being 6 "literal" days came around was a backlash against darwinism and evolution.

I still have faith. But now the world is to the point where extremists control everything. Most think of Christians being Pat Robertson and not the rastafarian or the guy who doesn't let the extremists tell him how to vote. Many think of muslims as terrorists, and not the homeless in Iraq or the Islamic community around here, who believe it or not weren't happy about 9/11. Many think of atheists and think of the people trying to stop displays of biblical texts or people just being pessemistic trying to prove everyone wrong and not the guy who doesn't give a shit what people think, and leaves them alone as he chooses not to share the same faith despite Christians and others coming to his door every weekend inviting him or her to a church in hopes of having them saved. Which brings me to my next thought.

4. Not everyone wants to be saved. And in the end it is nobody's fault. There will always be atheists, buddhists, christians, hindis, jews, muslums, pagans, etc. And as a note to fellow Christians, maybe I'm the only one who thinks this and I may very well be wrong, maybe if you really wanted people to convert, and find Christ... well then maybe some should back off. What was that saying... "If you want something, let it come to you" something to that effect. Maybe more should try that and maybe just maybe it can overshadow the people who have so often turned others away by preaching about being damned in hell, saying if you don't take the bible literally you're unchristian, oh and of course the whole concept of "If you're not a republican, you're not a Christian" needs to just die.

Long point made short: If christians can accept that not everyone will believe the same, if instead of trying to make a political statement to the world the churches would try to focus on self-redemption, if instead of preaching about the evils and the "fire and brimstone" people heard a more peaceful message that actually represents what almost all christians believe, and instead of being so corrupt on tithing for a new steeple or a road that leads to a back entrance, the money went to better use like helping the poverished, saving the enviroment, fighting AIDS, you know stuff that God really wants to see done to the world, the bad image nonbelievers have about christians would change.

But if most are so commited on fighting crusades against abortion clinics and homosexuals and any logical thought of evolution or global warming is heresy, and continue feeling elitist and afraid the world is going to end any minute, then fine have at it. I'm not going to stop anyone, or judge them for it. I just very strongly disagree.